You’ve got everything planned out: what to wear, dinner reservations, suggestions for where to go for a drink afterward, a few witty anecdotes — this is going to be the best first date in the history ...

Do you remember how when you were a kid, you’d meet another kid and be instant BFFs? I remember when I was in sixth or seventh grade, a girl in my class said, “Caitlin, I can’t believe it’s not butter ...